Getting ready to say Good-bye

Just a quick update.  Dad has continued to get better each day and I am so grateful to have him back!  It will still take a while to fully recover, but he is getting there.  Mom is still at home, but is declining quickly and we are getting ready to say good-bye to her.  She has not been responsive for a couple of days and has not eaten for more than that.  She also stopped drinking yesterday I think.  She is on plenty of pain meds to keep her comfortable while she is still with us.  Erica has done an amazing job of taking care of both her and Dad and it has not been an easy task and I am so grateful for her wonderful and loving care.  I am sure she will get many blessings for all her help.  Also the women of the Paso Robles ward have been so amazing and helpful - thank you Kim for all you have done for my mother!  I leave tomorrow to spend some time and hopefully help out a little.  Thank you for your prayers, we have truly felt them. 

The past couple of weeks

I'm not really even sure how to start this post today.  It has been a roller coaster ride the past few weeks in every possible way!  I have been terrible at keeping up the blog because each day there has been something new.  So I will quickly sum up the events around here.  A few weeks past both my mom and dad were taken to the emergency room in Templeton because of how sick they had been getting.  They both fought the idea of going to the hospital but thank goodness for a wonderful and life saving friend who probably really did save my Dad's life.  He was so bad they told him he probably would not have made it a few more days if he had stayed at home.  So thank you to Kim for making them go!  They were both diagnosed with Pneumonia and while my mom's condition seemed to be getting a little better, my Dad kept getting worse.  They discovered that he probably also had Valley Fever which is a fungal disease that sometimes farmers get from being out in the fields and breathing in stuff out there.  They finally found an anti-biotic that worked for him and he started to improve, but honestly I have never seen him so sick in all my life.  It was heartbreaking to say the least to go in and see them in that condition.  On top of all this was Taylor's wedding which we were all very happy and excited for, but the doctors broke the news to Dad that he would not be able to go and neither would Mom.  This was very hard news to take and Dad has been very emotional about it, but also so very grateful that Taylor and Brooke have decided to take this wonderful step in starting their lives together.  Mom and Dad were able to be in the same room together so we sent lots of pictures and videos so they see what was going on.  

So after a week of being in the hospital Dad was discharged and came home, although he needed lots of help and Erica and I were glad to be of some use.  Each day he has gotten a lot better and while the doctors say it will take six to eight weeks for him to fully recover I can see huge changes in him since he has come home.  A couple days after he came home, Mom also was able to come home.  She was pretty nervous about this as she was doing alright in the hospital and was nervous about coming home with hospice and didn't know how much longer she had left.  This is so hard for me to write about so I am sorry if I come across as blunt or callous, I just want to get the information across so everyone can  know a little part of what is going on.  So Mom came home yesterday and I wish I would say she is doing lots better but she continues to decline and is very miserable and it is very hard to watch.  Erica is amazing and has been there to help, and she needs lots of help right now.  Hospice will come every few days but right now she needs care day and night and I am glad the she is there for her.  She is planning on leaving Saturday and I will fly out on Monday and stay the week and then we will have to make plans for after that.  I want to pray that she gets better because I am not ready yet, but I also don't want her to live in these conditions and suffer so I pray for peace for her whatever that may mean.  I am very acutely aware of my Heavenly Father's love for me and for my family and have felt that love through many of you who have been so supportive.  I don't understand why it has to be this way, but I fully trust in the plan of someone who knows better than I do.  I am grateful for a Savior who provides comfort and a shoulder to cry on who understand what each one of us is going through and can give us just what we need to continue on.  

I will continue to post updates as they happen and on how Mom is doing each day.  Our family will not be going to Hawaii as that is happening next week and I just don't see how we could.  We are all okay with that and right now Mom is our only concern.  Also, I have had several people ask about donating money to help with the cost of everything that is going on right now and so I created a donate button on this page for those would like to do so.  I do want to emphasize though that your prayers and support are enough and have been greatly appreciated and that is all we ask for.  Please feel free to call or email me with any other questions, I would love to explain anything else I didn't add in here or answer any other questions.  Thank you and we love you

Update

Thanks Erica for posting yesterday, I am feeling much better today!  Thought I would give a quick update.  Mom is on her way home from the hospital.  They were thinking pneumonia might be a possibility, but unfortunately that is not the case.  From what I am hearing right now, it sounds like it is the cancer spreading and filling her lungs.  Her oxygen levels are at 85 -89% right now on her own, when they should be at 100%.  They are sending her home with an oxygen tank which still doesn't get it all the way up, but still helps.  I am guessing she will always be on that from now on.  The doctors with information about the clinical trial called and said they are actually 3 to 4 weeks out still, so we will wait on that and hope that that is a possibility for her.  Let's stay positive! :)

PS, Thanks again to everyone who sent a letter for the book I put together!  I had such a good time reading your letters and she loved them as well! Here are some pictures I got to put in, so just for fun I will share them on the blog.

Quite the Scare!

Mom has given us quite a few scares in the last 24 hours!  The doctor recently changed her morphine prescription from 15mg to 30mg tablets.  Not realizing this, she took twice her dosage before bed last night!  Dad got a hold of the doctor and was quite panicked!  He had to keep an eye on her through the night; luckily there were no negative side effects.  In fact, Mom slept quite well through the night!!

This afternoon, Mom went to her doctor and they realized she had a very high heart rate (about 148) and that her oxygen was about 85-93%.  These symptoms in a patient, especially one with cancer, lead to a strong indication of blood clots.  In fact, those with cancer have about a 50% greater chance of formiong blood clots.  Mom was rushed to the ER for tests.

Poor Jessica is suffering from food poisoning today and as the new RS Activities Coordinator, I had to spend my evening at the RS Birthday Party.  Until Dad text me that everything was okay, I felt like I was going to fall over from anxiety!!

The tests indicated that Mom does not have a blood clot, thank goodness.  She will be staying overnight at the hospital and will undergo further testing.  At this point, they're thinking she may have contracted pneumonia.  This would actually be a good thing as it is treatable and could lead to a better oxygen flow thru her lungs.  Anyone who has spoken with her recently has certainly noticed what a hard time she's had breathing.

We'll keep you all posted and I know we always say it, but I'll say it again..... THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR PRAYERS AND POSITIVE VIBES!

WE LOVE YOU, MOM!

Families are forever

Here I am sitting here wondering what to say and how to say it once again.  I love that so many people read this blog and have been kept up to date on everything, but it is getting harder for me to post.  I think that maybe if I just put it off, it won't be real, but I know many are wondering what is going on so it is time to update.  Mom has been having lots of pain in her bones and all over her body, so they decided to do another PT scan earlier than planned and find out what was going on.  They found that her cancer is spreading more rapidly and progressing through her body.  Her doctors gave her six to twelve months to live.  I don't know how to say that in any other way than to just say it.  We have all cried and felt great pain while at the same time receiving such comfort.  They will put her on another chemo to try and slow things down while also starting radiation on her back.  She started two days ago on the radiation and will continue for ten days. (correct me if I'm wrong Dad)  That will help to relieve some of the pain she is feeling.  They also gave her some stronger medication in the form of morphine that will hopefully help her feel better and be able to sleep better and she has been having a hard time with that.  Then today they were called and told about a new clinical trial that they are doing up at Stanford that she may be eligible to start and so we will find out in a couple of weeks if she will be able to start that as well.  I will post more info on that when we get to that point.  She has also been having a hard time breathing at times and talking as the cancer has spread into her lungs and has made things difficult there.  Her doctors told her that if it gets much worse then she will not be able to fly to Hawaii with us in May.  This has been her dream and my prayer is that she will be able to hold on and take this trip with the family.  We would appreciate prayers on her behalf and again thank you to everyone for already remembering us during this hard time.  I am grateful for the restored gospel that teaches us that families are forever. 

The latest

This is not a post I want to be writing. In fact, I have been putting it off because I really don't know what to say or how to say it.  After talking with Mom today, she told me to go ahead.  Her cancer has spread into her lungs and her bones and has been declared terminal.  She will continue with steroids which helps with the pain and her chemotherapy treatments.  They will do another scan in April to determine how things are progressing and if she needs to change treatments or continue with the same, but she will always be on chemo.  She is so upbeat and positive about everything but this can't be easy. I can only speak for myself and the way I have felt but I know that your prayers have made this experience that is so hard and terrible not so hard and terrible.  I am reminded of the story of Alma in the Book of Mormon when he was going through such a hard time and the Lord said, "And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs...and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions."  I have felt His comforting presence in my own life and when I talk to my mom and hear her positiveness I know she has too.  I am grateful for my Savior who does not always take our burdens away but helps them to become light. Thank you for the prayers, I know I have felt them.  My mom is ready for a fight and she will not give up easily. 

results

Ok, things have been so busy around here but it's about time I updated what is going on!  Mom went in on Thursday for another scan and was planning on meeting with the doctors after to go over the results.  She was feeling pretty nervous for this because she has been feeling something in her lungs when she breathes and has had an uncomfortable cough and we have been wondering if the cancer was maybe moving into her lungs.  She had the scan in the morning and after doing the normal routine they wanted to also do a scan on her legs which of course made us a little nervous.  They then had to wait until the afternoon to meet with doctors, who were also a couple hours late so it made for a very long day!  I think Mom said she finally crawled up on the table in the room and laid back to have a little nap. :)  When they were finally able to meet with their doctor she had not been given a report yet by the radiologists and was just looking at the results herself so she was not sure of anything but gave what she thought was positive results.  She promised to call the next day to give a more accurate picture of what was going on, so we waited anxiously to hear back.  Today Mom and Dad were able to have a conversation with her on a more specific level and it was not really the news we were hoping for.  It looks like part of the problem with her lungs is related to the chemo treatment she is on which can be fixed with steroids, but they also found nodules in her lungs.  Her scan also showed some unexplained areas in her pelvic bone, hip, spine, and scattered through both arms which could be the cancer spread into her bones.  So the plan right now is she will need to have a bone scan done within the next two weeks to verify whether that is the case or not.  She will also start steroid treatments next week and continue with those for six days which will hopefully help clear out her lungs a little, then she will start a new chemo treatment after that called Doxil which will only be delivered once a month and should not have huge side effects.  So for now we will wait to hear back about the bone scan and whether or not the cancer has entered those different areas in her bones and what the next step will be.  I will post as soon as I hear the results. Thanks again for all the prayers, even though the results were not what we were hoping, I know we have all felt the spirit sustaining and strengthening us through these uncertain times.